.racing.times.

i ran the bucktown 5k yesterday. i ran this same race last year, when i was fully trained for the marathon. i'm a normally slow runner. so last year, my aim was to run the 5K in 30 minutes. slow for most people, but that's pushing it for me.

this year, i haven't been able to train for anything (stupid ankle). so when i signed up for this, i figured my goal should be about 33 minutes, 32 minutes, if i'm lucky. well, i pushed myself yesterday. i wanted to stop and walk more than i actually did, but i didn't. i kept pushin. kept running. and what happened?

i ran it 7 seconds slower than i did last year. 7 seconds! can you believe it?? and the last time i ran was about 2 weeks ago...unbelieveable. i know i should be so proud of myself. and i am. however, now that i know that i could run that fast without training this whole time...can you imagine how fast i could have run it, had i been able to train??! i could have broken 30 minutes! that's unbelieveable for me! sure, most of my friends can run a 5K in way less than 30 minutes...i like to use the excuse that i'm short, with short legs - that's why i tend to run so slow. i still stand by that. ;)

there's all this talk about marathon training and cheering, everywhere i go...i long to be able to run long distances again. sure it's difficult, and at the time i actually run the long runs, i would much rather be sleeping in my nice air-conditioned condo...but i love it. i admit it. i LOVE running now. shocking, i know. and yes, i'm the same girl who was huffing and puffing sophomore year in college, who could barely run 5 minutes straight. it makes me feel like i'm doing something. like i'm actually accomplishing something. i make a goal and i actually follow through with it. i seem to never do that anymore. when i make goals at work, i usually don't meet it. ok, maybe i do, but sometimes i'm late. i used to never be late. this wedding stuff, i planned on working on this stuff all night. but what have i done? almost nada. i updated the guestlist with the rsvps that we received today. sent out a couple emails following up with some things...ugh.

so 5 days to go until the rsvp deadline. we're at a 54% response rate. that's pretty normal, i think. i just dread having to contact all the non-responders...blech.

lisa b came over yesterday and together we were able to put together more than 1/2 of those ribbon wands. woohoo! now i just need to work on them a little every night. i need to figure out the programs...bring them to kinkos to print out and hole punch. then string the ribbon thru the programs. think i'll have to make a stop to joann fabrics tomorrow night. can't wait to stop by!

ok, gotta get back to trying to get some wedding "work" done.

19 more days...

3.weeks.and.5.days...

so it's all really coming together. i'm feeling...ok for now. my mood swings are getting worse. pms for sure. so that makes me nervous because i don't want to be a total bitch the week of the wedding. shit. maybe i should try to skip my period or something next month. okok. TMI...just talking out loud for now.

planning...where i'm at...
i'm printing up the RD (i.e. rehearsal invites) tonight and also the envelopes. not making that many, since we thought of the idea of eviting 1/2 of the list and the other 1/2 get the paper invites. saved us some money and some time. pleased the computer literate AND illiterate.

stress level...
pretty high. if you've been around me the past week, you'd know. sorry to those of you who have been on the receiving end of it. i wonder if taking medication would help?!

work has been ok. not that great. but i'm trying really hard to stay focused and get my shit done, so i can work at night on the wedding. sometimes it doesn't work out that way because there are some things that i just have to do in the day, so that takes time away from actually working. but wortever. it's not like i feel invaluable. i'm highly replaceable. i think i still have my managers fooled...

the condo is a disaster area. seriously. it's never been this messy or dirty. there's so much shit everywhere. decorations. presents. invitations. rsvps. paper. ribbon.blah.blah.blah. i can't wait to clear this space out and go back to normal life again.

did anyone hear felicity huffman's speech during the emmys yesterday? so, so cute. and it's nice to actually see a hollywood marriage stable. at least that's how it looks now. knock on wood that it doesn't turn into an aniston-pitt, richards-sheen, mccarthy - ?, spelling - shanahan (?), etc... and she looked damn hot in her dress. and did anyone notice her guns?! damn, she must have hired a personal trainer over her hiatus. lucky duck.

i haven't been sleeping well for the last month. i stay up really late, am exhausted in the morning. you'd think the fact that i'm exhausted at night from the lack of sleep the previous night would make me to go sleep faster. usually it does. but lately...not so much. i lay in bed for a while now, just waiting for myself to drift off...it's not so easy anymore. is the stress? probably. it was so bad last night that i went to bed at 1. tried to go to sleep, then finally turned on the night light and started knitting...*sigh*...a walked in and said, 'are you crazy? why are you still awake?'

i'm tired of this forever feeling of 'there's still something else to do...' constantly over my head...there will always be something else to do. i feel like i don't have enough time to breathe. and poor m. she's working non-stop, so she can't really help me out too much...blah.

gotta go try to sleep....

i'm.still.not.grumpy.

i'm still alive. just busy. with work. wedding.and trying to run.

about to run the nike run hit wonder. 10K. i haven't run a 10K in a long time. hopefully my ankle holds up. crap. i'll probably be in a lot of pain tomorrow, won't i?