.sad.times.

the past few weeks have been so weird. so many people have passed away. not anyone who i've known well, just acquaintences. one of my high school friend's dad passed away on saturday. he was too young. he's slightly younger than my dad. aileen, her mom, and her sister had to make the decision. and then it was over. i went to the wake tonight, and saw several high school friends who i haven't seen in a few years. i think it was a reality check for all of us.

it's starting. that phase in your life when your elders, the ones who you've known since high school, start to pass away.

i think aileen was surprised to see me. amanda didn't tell her i'd be able to make it. she looked surprised and happy that i was able to make it; i felt that familiarity that i used to feel in high school. we all started chatting about what's been goin on. who's married/marrying who from high school. so weird. but we all started talking like old times. the good times. we're all adults now; no more of that high school immaturity. i'm really happy that i still keep in touch with these girls, even though we don't speak or see each other as often as we should. but life gets in the way, and we all have our own things going on.

i'm going to the funeral on saturday morning, just for a little more support. i'll be praying for aileen and her family until then...

.started.training.

we're now in week 2 of training. so far so good. the people who know i'm training say, 'oh, you've done it before, it'll be easy to do it again.' i just want to slap them! no! it's not gonna be easy. you wanna know why?? because i'm re-learning how to run again, not only physically, but mentally. once you fall off that kind of training schedule, you have to re-learn it when you start up again. but of course these people have no clue. so if you have any friends who are training for the marathon this year, please don't tell them 'oh, you'll be fine...blahblahblah...' you don't know what kind of condition they're in now. so who knows if they really will make it? and if they don't, then they'll feel like a failure...when in doubt, just say something like, 'good job! you'll do great! keep at it!' or any assortment of encouraging words. ie: 'oh you'll be fine, you've run it before' does NOT = encouraging or comforting. and can, in fact, come across as condescending....maybe condescending isn't the right word...but i think you get my drift...

so this week, i'm finally able to run 3 miles straight without stopping. woohoo! little steps each week, is my goal. cross your fingers!

.secrets.secrets.are.no.fun.

don't you hate it when you know something, but can't tell anyone until a certain amount of time? i have 1.5 weeks to go...time's a tickin...but i can't wait! that's all i can say for now...

so at work, i'm getting into more of a management position. it's a little different just 'overseeing' everyone on my team, rather than me doing the work. i'm not sure i like it. i think it's because i'm a little of a control freak with work. i want it done the right way, and done when we're supposed to get it done. not when we feel like it. that's the good and bad with me. i want to get it done, but i have a difficult time drawing the line of 'no, i'm not going to work past my 8 hours'. i just don't like that attitude. i just want to get the work done; screw all the politics.

i can't wait to go out to manhatten beach next month. one of my friends is getting married on the beach. how exciting! we're staying at a pretty nice hotel too (at least that's what the reviews say). i'm sure it will be beautiful. it'll also be nice seeing some friends i haven't seen in so long.

another one of my college friends got engaged last weekend. i think it's gonna be a continual stream of wedding planning for the next couple of years. then it'll be a steady stream of babies...who knows when that will start...i wonder who the 1st one will be??!

it's been a pretty sad few weeks. i've known a few people who passed away. i can only wish their families some peace in their life...soon. RIP.

ok, back to work!



ps. about that secret... no, i'm not pregnant!