.what.should.i.do.with.my.life.

no, that title is not rhetorical, it's the name of the new book that i bought today. it's written by Po Bronson, and apparantly it's a new york times best seller. well, if that doesn't sell me (and add to that a 30% discount at borders for being on the nytimes best seller list), then i don't know what would. there's a lot of stuff, relatively speaking, that i would like to change in my life. but when i really start to think about it, it turns out that there isn't much really. does that make sense? at first, it would seem that my life isn't very grand, and i should be actually doing something with it. but really, i just need to be content with experiencing what i'm experiencing. i need to start to be happy with what i've got, instead of always craving the material things that seem to consume me. however, there are real things that i need to change. i've been so stagnant for the past year, not growing in many ways, so i need to start reading more. and it can't be magazines. i need to stimulate my mind, or else there will be no mind to stimulate in a couple of years. so i decided to try to get a different perspective on things. could this be a phase? possibly. but i really feel like something has to change now. or else i'll continue being the unhappy person who continually bitches about the most meaningless crap in the world, and bring down everyone else around me. let's move on, shall we?

oh, and in addition to this 'life-altering' book, i decided a girl's gotta have some fun with reading too. so i bought the devil wears prada . that title just brings a smile to my face.

the goal this week is to be productive. to do something more than just watch the damn television and watch reruns all day. i started out well today. ran some much needed errands, and almost did more shopping, but i was not lucky enough to find anything at tj maxx or marshalls. ah well. there are other things to be spending my money on anyways. many other things.

maybe tomorrow i can be productive with work.

it's been so long since i've actually felt good about anything that i do, that i don't really remember anymore. i remember when i was in school, i had goals, small and large. little projects and big projects. and i felt good about completing them. like i actually accomplished something. i want that back. and now that i've realized that, i need to find my way back.

life's worst enemy is being stagnant.