.lalalah.la..

can you tell by the title of this post that i'm bored? i really am. i don't really know what to do with myself. what's with this? i've been thinking about my career and what i feel i've accomplished in the past 2 years. and it's very hard for me to materialize what i've done. that's a sign. that means i've barely done anything in my life. the first couple years is where you're supposed to gain the most experience, isn't it? i think i need to change companies. i think i need to go into industry. get some more direction. learn a lot more. i feel like i'm lost right now, no real direction. no one to really guide me. i guess i'm not an entrepeneur. does that make me a failure? i feel like i'm just coasting in this job. while others are accelerating. i don't find iming as fulfilling anymore (hahaha). or email. i want to do something. i've said this many times, and then i just get caught up with not doing anything about it again. why do i just let that happen?

i'm searching on monster and careerbuilder.com right now for a new job. but it's hard now. no one will really be hiring until the start of the new year. hopefully then, i can find something that i like better.

someone just asked me what i'm doing for new years...a and i are debating whether we should have a thing at the condo. he doesn't want to go out (what a surprise), and fight all the crowds and traffic. i wouldn't mind going out. i mean we've never done it before, so why not now? but whatever. it's not that big a deal to me. we'll probably end up having some people over...that would be the easiest. maybe we should invest in a blowup mattress before then.

i'm trying to shop online to do my xmas shopping, but it's not working. why do we all put ourselves through this? the pressure and agony to buy our loved ones xmas presents?! it really is very stressful. esp when you don't have time or money to do it. but we all do it. i'm trying to do most of mine online, but i don't know what to buy anyone. and i think that makes me a bad friend. why can't i think of 1 thing to buy anyone this year??