.the.bachelor.

poor brooke. the girl couldn't even watch the clip on good morning america where aaron proposes to helene. and she couldn't listen to herself talk about how she felt after aaron broke up with her. even though i didn't think she was right for aaron, she's still a nice girl. at least how she was portrayed on the show. while i was watching good morning america (forgive me katie, matt, al, and ann) this morning, i felt so bad for brooke. and i really felt like i was watching something that i shouldn't. it really is exploitation of the whole relationship. which is why i don't get why i do watch it. i mean it is fun to watch the whole process, but the aftermath....i just felt guilty. like watching people's feeling splattered all over national television and newspapers...is that really how i want to remember living my life? is that what i want to remember as bringing smiles to my face? in the end it really doesn't matter. i don't know if i'm going to watch the bachelorette or the next bachelor..we'll see...

i will say one more thing about this. when they showed brooke this morning on good morning america, they splashed this ridiculously embarrassing title on her "Brooke lastname...Rejected by 'The Bachelor' " i felt so bad for her...but hey, she did get that far in the process..but by that time, it didn't matter how far she went, because she let her feelings take over her want to win the game...and that's all it really is, isn't it? just a big old game.

i did watch the amazing race. however, stupid cbs put the victoria secret fashion show on during the amazing race time, and had AR on the hour before...so i missed the first 15 minutes of it..damn them! and then mj called around 7:45, and we talked for about an hour, so i missed the end and the beginning of the bachelor..but it's ok, because she told me her grandfather died over the weekend, so she had to go back to chicago, he passed on saturday night, and then had the funeral on tuesday. i felt so bad for her. first her grandmother and now 3 weeks later, her grandfather. i met them a long time ago, when we were both in high school, and they were amazing people. so sweet and generous and always wanting the best for mj. she was so close to them and they loved her so much. it reminded me of what perspective my life is taking right now. i feel like i'm looking at my life with the wrong perspective lately. i need to readjust, and maybe that will help my own mentality and remind me what i really should be caring about. not about how many points i get on united, sheraton, or hilton. not about all the perks we seem to be losing with this ibm thing. i need to concentrate more on what makes me happy. and what will make me happy. i need to take more advantage of the fact that i am alive and i am lucky enough to have a job. and if this job doesn't please me, i need to do something about it, instead of always complaining. but it's times like this where i tell myself that i need to change my perspective, and it works for a while..and then that bad mood will take over and i become more pessimistic. i think it might have more to do with that time of the month. so if i become more pessimistic, someone give a shoutout and remind me about this 11.21 blog.

then my other friend called to tell me her and her bf are taking a break after almost 3 years together. totally felt bad for her too. and she has an interview today...i just hope she doesn't let this stop her from getting a good job..good luck r.

back to the daily grind.