2005.edition.of.the.super.bowl.shuffle...

i was riding the L this morning, reading the red eye, as per usual. i come across this article about a contest to create an updated version of chicago's super bowl shuffle. i don't remember the last time i've laughed out loud on the L. i had to watch myself, so as not to scare the other passengers... here's a sampling of what i read:

The defense
We're the D-line and we're fantastic.
When we see a QB, we ask "paper or plastic?"
The QBs know they're gonna get sacked.
'Cause the Monsters of the Midway are roaring back.
So our advice to Peyton Manning:
When you see us in Detroit, wear lots of padding
The Colts' O-line will have its hands full.
And we'll be singing the Super Bowl Shuffle.
Muhsin Muhammad
My name's Mush … Muh … Mu … even I can't pronounce it
My friends call me Moose, the press calls me Muhammad
But you can call me whatever you please, I'm just here to score TDs
So if Kyle can keep his passes down, I'll be taking that rock to town
The end zone is where I'll be doing my Hustle
While Da Bears are singing the Super Bowl Shuffle
Fred Miller
My name's Fred Miller, I man the offensive line
But at times I like to party with some friends of mine
We usually go to dinner, but were looking for a change
And decided to visit a shooting range
That day we were hangin' with a few G-men
When I started raggin' on my pal Olin
I picked at Olin 'til his nerves got ruffled
Now I'm mumbling the Super Bowl Shuffle
Kyle Orton
My name's Kyle Orton, I'm the new QB
I'm no Rex Grossman, but at least I'm healthy.
The writers all say my game is weak
But I haven't yet begun to peak
They say I'm barely able to manage
And our defense is our only advantage
But all their voices will soon be muffled
When we start singing the Super Bowl Shuffle
-- Stan, Centerville, Ohio

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