.new.look.

i have this itch to update this layout (again). i might just go with one of the generic templates on here. start out new.

i can't grasp exactly what attracts me to john mayer. sitting in the 7th row last friday night was bliss. he made me cringe, and at the same time want to sit, close my eyes, and listen because i love his music. i love his presence. i love his passion. physically, he makes my mind believe he's a stalker. an obsesser. his words confirm that he is borderline obsessive-compulsive. but it's also his words and the passion he displays when he performs that make me melt. he's so random when he chats with his audience. so nerdy. but so likeable. charismatic? maybe. if he were some joe schmoe, i would think he's the nerdiest guy out there. i wouldn't even like him because i would think he's trying too hard to be 'cool'. maybe that's why i like him. because he challenges me to like him. him and all that he seems to stand for. he makes me believe my own stereotypes, which i don't like to admit i have, are untrue. he makes me feel snobby. like one of the cool kids who is letting him into 'my' crowd. he's my definition of a tangible oxymoron. at the end of any of his performances, either live or on tv, he leaves me wanting more; even though i still believe in the future, he could turn into a stalker. yet i can't get enough of his music. when i imagine how he would treat his girlfriend, i wince. i envision he would shower her with too much attention - at least in my opinion. and i wonder if he would be a pushover. maybe not. maybe that's where i'm mistaken. maybe he would shower her with attention, but not suffocate. sing his passionate words to her, but still have a backbone. i will never know. but his music is timeless. ideal. and perfect.

i like jt for almost the same reasons as i like jm. his passion. especially when he performs. his music makes me feel alive. makes me want to get up and pretend i know how to dance. good time music. and when he performs, he makes the music come alive. and the biggest reason i like him more than jm? he's hot as hell, of course!

what would i do without music?