.the.grass.is.always.greener...

i don't understand why i'm so homesick lately. i've been waiting for this time in my life to come, and now all i want to do is go back home all the time. this condo is great and so nice. and i can't believe i can afford it (with a of course), but it's not home yet. i'm used to being squished in my cramped room. used to sharing a bathroom with someone much messier than me. always waiting for my family to come home. it's so odd that i actually miss them. i've spent most of my life just wanting to get away and have my freedom and now that it's here...i don't know what to do with it. i have to force myself to not go home as much. that just makes me miss it more. i want to just to stay home, instead of spending all that time driving back to the city and to this condo. i do like it though. our furniture looks nice so far. i have to work at not cluttering it up.

i haven't even starting raving about nyc. i absolutely love that city. so much fun. another city that never ever sleeps. and the icing on the cake? mtv studios! woohoo! the videos that me and mari took in front of the studios was so much fun. they just make me laugh and laugh. haha.

work is so hard right now. i really don't know what's going on. and i'm having such a hard time picking it up. just have to keep working at it. i have a feeling everyone just thinks i'm a slacker. that i don't even want to try. but i know myself. when i'm not given sufficient training or time to learn stuff, i have no desire to learn it. and right now, i have no desire to learn any of this bowstreet/java stuff. i don't get what modules are. or what builders are. but i'm trying hard as hell to get on a different project. i just need a little bit of help from the higherups in this company.

oh yeah, all the knockoffs in nyc were absolutely fab. FABULOUS. i can't say enough about it. why doesn't chicago's chinatown have vendors like that? we would go absolutely insane. insane, i say. me and mari would be there at least once a month, buying the latest styles by the best designers. kate fake spade. my fav.

the weather in chi-town has been awesome. so beautiful. i won't see that for a while. oh, and i need to start working out religiously again. that 5K is less than 2 weeks away. i'm toast.