i guess the writing was on the wall?...

one of my close friends is getting the boot tomorrow. ironic how it's always one of the people who always jokes about being the 'chosen' one, the 1st one voted off when the 2 tribes merge...blessing in disguise, i think. maybe then he'll be able to actually do what he really wants to do, instead of this seemingly dead end job. that's where most of us seem to be lost in our lives. what do we really want to do? not many of us know what path that is. we end up just allowing our lives to follow the richer path, the direction that gives us the most monitarily, not emotionally or spiritually. there are not many people who are strong enough to do that. but then again, there aren't many people out there who have the financial freedom to really do what they want to do. since what we usually want to do doesn't pay nearly enough to live on. but maybe if most people weren't as materialistic in this world, then they'd be able to do what they want to do. we're all a product of our environment. me especially. there was so much emphasis on material things and surrounding myself with the most beautiful things i can afford as i grew up. i guess i'm just used to it now. i could say that it's all that i know? but we all have the power to change anything in our lives. and if we don't like being materialistic, we can always change. no one makes us do anything. we all choose to do what we do. the question is, do we have the strength to change from what we're used to?

i messed up my car today. i've realized i'm becoming more and more careless with stuff. not a good attitude to have. i really need to be more careful with how i treat it. see, our old air conditioner is out at the end of the driveway...i was leaving my house to go workout, and our neighbors (a mom and her little 1year old daughter - i'm just guessing how old she is) were walking on the sidewalk. the little girl was so cute, and i was watching her while i was backing out, when BAM. i scrapped the driver's side of my back fender. teaches me another lesson. i need to just take better care of my damn car, if i want it to be worth anything in the future. damn that air conditioner. and damn me for allowing myself to be distracted.

it really is much harder to lose that last 10 pounds. i've been doing a lot more cardio, and of course when you work out a lot more, then you tend to eat more because your metabolism increases. i just need to remember that i need to eat less than my brain tells me to, if i want to lose that extra mass.

i don't know what to do with my hair. it's right at that in between stage right now. which means i'm right in between deciding whether to cut it or let it grow out. i just need to find a good picture of some kind of hairstyle that i want. that's the problem. i just don't know what i want. i love my hair short. but i feel like it's a little played out right now. so maybe i'll grow out my hair to a cute little bob. but i love the flipped out bottom part. so i have to incorporate that somehow. it's just hard sometimes to keep the flipped out hair, flipped out. ugh. i bet you in a couple of weeks, i'm just going to cut it off again.

going into the office tomorrow. i'll probably write more then...